


who's running the show?

by appetencies



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: CALLUM TELLS BEN BABEYYY, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, since we know ee will disappoint us
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27767302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/appetencies/pseuds/appetencies
Summary: But he thinks of Ben, and how noone can run from the Mitchells, and the people he’s dragged into the crossfire, and he thinks Ben is talking, asking him something but he can’t listen, not when-“It was me.”
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 6
Kudos: 60





	who's running the show?

Callum knows as soon as Phil finds the bug; he’s doomed.

The Mitchells aren’t idiots, and he realises only now that he’s going to pay for thinking they are; maybe Phil has his sights set on Kat and Kush now, but it’s only a matter of time until all eyes are on him. And he knows he won’t be able to lie, not when each look in Ben’s eyes feels like another hit to the defence he’s built around himself.

Because Ben knows something is wrong. Ben knows something is going on, and for all his softness in the privacy of their bedroom love has made him no less jaded by life. And he knows that he’ll hate him, that no excuse or warmed heart can fight off the accusation of betrayal for a Mitchell. He’s running on borrowed time.

He packs a bag when Ben is back at the Arches, no doubt searching for any other evidence of Callum’s interference (there’s none, he already knows.) It’s enough clothes to last him, not enough for Ben to notice before it’s too late; for once his childhood habit of keeping extra cash stowed away comes in handy and he shoves £100 to the bottom of the bag. He hides it under the bed for now; he’ll slip away tonight, and Ben and Phil will be none the wiser.

Call him a coward, you’d be right. Call him an idiot, even better. He knows he won’t be able to outrun this for long, especially with Phil on the warpath- fleeing is an admission of guilt, but at least it’s one where he won’t have to see the hurt in Ben’s eyes when he tells him. So Callum waits. Scribbles out a note to Stuart, crumples it up and shoves it in his pocket, does the same with his next three attempts.

He hears the door open and close downstairs followed by Ben’s voice calling out for him. He shouts out a quick reply, glancing around for anything that could paint him in a suspicious light, before all-but burying himself in the bedsheets. Make it look like he had a nap, or something- it’s still the afternoon, isn’t it?

He hardly has time to think about it before Ben appears in the doorway, looking vaguely amused; “Early night?”

“Er, no, I was just…” Ben’s eyebrows shoot up. “..just, you know.”

_“You know.”_ Ben echoes, smirking, before pushing off of the doorframe. “Well, _whatever_ you’re doing, fancy going out for dinner? My treat.”

_You don’t deserve that,_ part of his brain says. Not now, not when he’s leaving tonight. But the other part of his brain, the one that’s stupidly, madly in love with this man, says the least he can give him as a parting gift is a happy memory. Even if it’ll be tainted come tomorrow.

So he agrees, and gets changed into something nicer, and it all feels like such a lie that he has to take a moment to stare in the mirror, reassure himself that this is how it has to happen, because he’s selfish and stupid and a life where Ben hates him is worse than a life with no Ben at all.

They end up at some place just outside Walford- fancier than usual, Callum knows where the money for that came from. He wills himself to pretend things are normal, and Ben speaks enough for the both of them most times, and this is enough. This is enough.

“So, I was thinking,” Ben is talking with his mouth full, and he really shouldn’t find that endearing but it is, sue him. “You, me, and a hotel for a weekend? Two days of uninterrupted _bliss.”_ he winks, and Callum’s heart flips to the bottom of his stomach.

“What you so desperate to get me alone for?” Callum jokes. His mouth feels dry.

Ben, of course, is unfazed. “The usual.” there’s a glimmer in his eyes as he pauses to take a sip of his drink and lean in close. “And between me and you, I don’t want Dad to bite my head off with this bug thing.”

Callum catches himself before his expression slips. Of course it’d come up; he knows how Ben feels about the grassing thing, and he’d been terrified enough despite the fact that it hadn’t even been _him._ Whatever, whatever. He forces himself to look neutral and tilts his head to the side, questioning.

Ben looks around for a moment before sighing and elaborating; “Kat’s only gone and done a runner. He saw her leaving in a taxi a few hours ago.” Shit. _Shit._ “And honestly- don’t try running from the Mitchells. He’s out for blood.”

“Sounds a bit harsh,” Callum says meekly, coughing into his sleeve to cover the slight tremble of his voice.

Ben barks out a laugh, and he knows that it’s not aimed at him, he knows, but he still has to keep himself from flinching. “Harsh? He’s going easy on her, considering. If she got anything on that bug- if my dad got sent down because of her…” something in his expression darkens, sends a tremor of fear skating over Callum’s veins. “..well, let’s just say she made a big mistake not taking the rest of her family with her.”

Stuart. Rainie. “B-but Kat’s got kids, ain’t she? And Jean and Mo-”

“She better hope they’re following her lead.” Ben shrugs, and goes back to eating his food as if it’s nothing, and here’s the thing.

Callum truly doesn’t care what Ben does much at all. If not for his job, he’d be fine letting Ben run around doing whatever, as long as he comes back safe at the end of the day. But a part of him says, _aren’t these the people you should be protecting? How can you look past this?_

_How can you let him do this, when you know they haven’t done anything to deserve it?_

Their meal goes on; the conversation is normal, because Callum has gotten too good at lying in the past few months, and before long they’re pulling on their coats to leave. It feels almost final, the way the restaurant doors swing shut behind him. But Ben doesn’t suspect a thing, because Ben believes far too much in him for his own good and that hurts, because once upon a time it was the other way round. Callum hates this, hates the person he’s become; thinks to the bag waiting for him and the crumpled up note in his jacket pocket and _almost._

“Ben,” he mutters; they’re in the car on the way home, and Callum’s been leaning against the window, watching the world go by without him. Kat and her kids and what might happen to them is weighing heavy on his mind, and he can’t do this without at least trying to stop it. “Kat and Kush-”

Ben sighs, keeping his eyes on the road but glancing over briefly. “Look, I don’t wanna hurt the woman, alright? I told you, my dad _will not_ let this go. She’s crossed us and now she’ll pay the price." his voice softens, just so. "There's a reason I wanted us both away from him right now.

Callum winces; fuck, he’s so sure of it. “But I just,”

It’s quiet. There’s something stuck at the back of Callum’s throat, a manifestation of all these lies, a single sentence that could change it all. Ben looks at him, puzzled, and tilts his head, moving to pull over.

“No, no. Ben, keep driving.” he manages, curling himself against the car door. “Please.”

“...Cal?”

“I just- I don’t think- It’s not Kat you should be looking at.”

What is he doing. Why, why is he doing this, why now? The plan could’ve gone fine, he could’ve left and he wouldn’t have to do this, not like this.

But he thinks of Ben, and how noone can run from the Mitchells, and the people he’s dragged into the crossfire, and he thinks Ben is talking, asking him something but he can’t listen, not when-

“It was me.”

Ben goes silent. The hum of the car and the night is all that stays between them, and somehow that weighs heavier than any words ever could.

“What.” Ben’s voice is deeper than he’s ever heard it, anger seeping into the air. Callum feels his blood run cold. “Callum, I am going to stop this car, and _you-”_

“No, wait!” Callum cries, and god fuck he hadn’t thought this far, never thought of just how cold Ben can be, of the shame that sets in from his words, of the terrifying scowl that sours his expression. _“Ben-_ Ben, after we get home, you can- you can ditch me. You can kick me to the curb, you can do _anything-_ just, just let me explain everything, please. Just.. just keep driving.”

And surprisingly, despite it all- despite Ben’s white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel, the expression that looks one step away from murderous- he stays silent. Callum doesn’t deserve this.

And now he has to say something.

“That CCTV, at the warehouse job.” Callum’s breath stutters; the truth feels so very foreign on his tongue. “Thompson- you know him, I know you do- he’s been holding it over me this entire time. Making me do all this stuff, the bug, _everything-_ or else he’ll arrest you. I didn’t- I can’t lose you, I can’t.” but here he is anyway, and he doesn’t need any of Thompson’s help for this. Ben’s expression, still firmly set on the road, on _anger,_ shifts indescribably.

“So you’ll help me by what, getting me sent down anyway?” he hates this, hates the shutters coming down around them both. Ben speaks to him like he’s heard him speak to any other copper, and he supposes this is what he deserves.

“He didn’t _need_ you, that was the point.” Callum whispers, clenching his own fists so tight that he draws blood. “He wanted Phil.”

Ben’s laugh isn’t like it was earlier; it’s bitter, harsh upon Callum’s ears. “After everything he’s been through already this year- I thought this family meant something to you. You were meant to be one of us!” Ben’s voice catches toward the end of the sentence, and Callum recognises this- the same way he’d pleaded back when Callum had almost walked out on him. Desperate.

But why?

“You think I wanted to do this?!” Callum’s eyes are stinging, but he holds the tears back, he has to. “I don’t want any of you to go to prison! But it was you or him, and I _couldn’t-!”_

“I’m a big boy, Callum, I’ve been in prison before; I can do it again!” Ben bangs his fist against the steering wheel; the shriek of it is deafening. “But him? My own dad?!”

“But you wouldn’t.” Callum’s voice is suddenly quieter; even now, Ben would rather yell it out than admit his own truths. “I’ve seen the way you get about the thought of going back there, Ben. You look _terrified!_ You think I’ve never noticed?! I don’t want you going through that again!” desperation is clawing its way into his voice, and he finally thinks this might where he breaks.

“You think he’d be any better off?!”

“I don’t _know,_ Ben! I don’t want to know, I don’t want either of you to go down for any of this! I’ve been trying to put this off, I’ve been giving you all the fucking warnings I can, but it’s not _enough!_ Thompson wants Phil in the next two weeks or it’s _you,_ and I can’t- I don’t- I don’t know what to _do.”_ the car’s stopped; Ben isn’t talking, and Callum just waits for him to start hating him. “I can’t do this, I never wanted to, I’m sorry! Fuck, I’m so sorry, I-”

“Callum.” Ben’s voice cuts in, razor sharp, and the chill of the night air hits Callum’s shame-flushed skin. “You coming with, or not?”

Callum blinks dumbly at him, for a moment. “...What?”

“Just.” Ben raises a hand to rub at his forehead, sighing. “Don’t make me regret this.” And then, simple as that, he walks through the back gate of the Mitchell house and leaves it open. After all of this.

Callum, stunned into silence, follows; Ben stands in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. His gaze doesn’t so much as flicker to him when he enters.

“You’ve made me too soft, Callum.” he mutters bitterly. “A few years ago and I would’ve left you right in the middle of that road.”

Callum doesn’t speak. Ben continues, and he still won’t look at him.

“You’re an idiot, you know that? You should’ve just told me. And now. _Now.”_ Callum agrees with him, but it hurts nonetheless to hear it out loud. Truth hurts. “Well, Dad can’t know about this, that’s for sure. He’d kill you.”

“I’d deserve it.”

“Shut up.” Ben scoffs. “You know we’re _both_ fucked if he finds out. Especially after I covered for you. Especially after he _actually fell_ for it.” Callum, giving up on meeting Ben’s gaze, stares at the wall behind him. “And now I’m the one who has to deal with this.”

“What-” Callum stutters, and part of him feels like reaching out, but he thinks better of it. “Ben, you _can’t!”_

“Haven’t got much of a choice, have I?” his voice softens minutely, but that isn’t saying much. “Either my Dad goes down and we have a breakup that won’t last more than a few weeks or I sit in a cell and wait for my Dad to tell me he’s killed you himself.” he laughs, a rumble that sends electricity shooting through Callum’s veins. “But I’m a Mitchell. There’s always the third option.”

“Ben, whatever you’re thinking- whatever you’re going to do, Thompson’ll arrest you, and he won’t be so willing to let you go-”

Finally, finally, Ben’s gaze flits to Callum’s face, his lips, and something _snaps._

He suddenly surges forward, seizes Callum by his jacket, crowds him against the counter and kisses him. It’s rough and dizzying and leaves no room to breathe, no room to _think,_ and Callums pulls away with his vision in a haze and his world feeling like it’s been tipped off axis. But he doesn’t miss what Ben murmurs against his lips.

“What,” Callum breathes. Ben, hair a little ruffled, face flushed, eyes sparking with fire- meets his gaze and smirks, moonlight spilling sharp across his features.

“So we kill him.”

**Author's Note:**

> take a shot everytime one of them says 'what'
> 
> ANYWAY havent written for these 2 in a literal year BUT HERE WE ARE if ee wasnt gonna give me this then i'll do it myself!!!


End file.
